How Long Will You Lie in the Mud?

A man set out on a long journey.

Not too far from home he tripped, lost his balance and fell into the mud.

“That’s it. I’m a failure,” he thought to himself, losing his will to continue walking.

He remained on the ground for hours.

Slowly some healthy thoughts encouraged and gave him hope.

He decided to stand up and try again.

Unfortunately, a mile later he fell again.

Again he was overwhelmed by doubt and disappointment until a spark of hope lifted him to his feet.

This sounds funny, I know.

But that's what we do in our minds when we make a mistake and feel guilty.

I did.

The habit of dwelling on our mistakes makes us ineffective in getting to the goal. The time the man spent lying on the ground could have been spent walking forward.

If you want to overcome sin, lust or addiction, don't stay in the mud of guilt and shame for days.

If you have a relapse get up as fast as you can and continue.

You’re making progress when you don’t dwell on your mistakes.

You should celebrate relapses. Here’s why

Relapse feels terrible and brings a sense of hopelessness.

All this time was wasted and no progress was made.

Or was it?

You may be surprised to hear but I recommend celebrating if you relapse.

No, you read right!

Although you want to feel guilty, you shouldn’t. 

Whatever you do, get away from negativity.

As far as you can.

The amount of negativity you embrace is proportional to how big of an impact this particular slip-up with make. Negativity increases the chance of one relapse to bring you back into addiction.

Allow me to explain.

Think about it – you’ve tried to stay away from lust and succeeded for [insert the number of days].

You failed one day (this time) but succeeded all of those days to resist temptation. You shouldn’t beat yourself up but celebrate the number of days you managed to stay free. It’s an achievement, not a loss.

Numerous men can’t stay away for one day! And you did it multiple days.

If you dived head first into the abyss of despair after a relapse you won’t have the strength or motivation to resist.

The very next temptation will make you fall. It’s because you already decided you’re a failure by embracing discouragement. The reality is – you’re not a failure, your perspective of the situation is.

Tom Peters once said, "Celebrate what you want to see more of."

Focus on failure you will increase it, focus on the number of days you abstained, and you will win.

If you stayed away from pornography for 7 days and celebrated it, what would happen?

You will want to beat the record. You will know 7 days are possible. Are eight, ten or fourteen days possible? You will be eager to know.

If you celebrate, the positive experience will create a desire to repeat it.

When temptation comes the next day, you will have a reason to resist it.

You are on a new streak!

And this one better be longer.

If not, it is still worth being celebrated.

Temptations thrive in negativity.

Celebrate streaks and you won’t have to deal with a returned addiction, only a once-off slip-up.

Failure is progress too

Famous people are known for their success.

What most don’t realize is that they failed disproportionately more times than succeeded.

They are not born successful.

They tried something many times, failed many times and finally hit the mark.

If the man in the mud realized that his fall didn’t erase the distance he walked so far, he wouldn’t feel discouraged.

You have to do the same and you will get to your destination faster.

Thank you for reading!

Shoot me an email or DM on X if you have a question!

Blessings,
Vytas